Plenty of Irony

I’ve just lost a lot of respect for myself. I am now signed up on a dating site. Plenty of fish, actually. And let me tell you something, there really isn’t “plenty” of “fish” out there. There are; however, 9 pages of weirdos hitting certain specs between the ages of 23-30 (no offense to anybody on their reading this). There are some “gems” though. I look on the site, and I think to myself, “damn, this guy’s profile says he’s a lawyer, he’s young, and he’s hot,” which is also when I think, “either he’s lying, or there is something wrong with him if he needs a DATING site to meet someone” – and that’s when i go “yeaaaah, not messaging you” – this site is for imperfect people like me! Get off here! And it’s not just that, I’m a total snob and I never message people first. Although you’d never be able to tell from my blogs, I am kinda shy sometimes.

A few of my friends say I should give it a shot, but I really don’t feel like I belong on Plenty of Fish. I seriously wouldn’t care less if I don’t go on any dates for the next two years. I’ve already come to the conclusion dating me is like dating something a little bit less entertaining than a brick wall, and my smile I reserve for dates where it’s suppose to feign “haha, I think you’re funny,” really reads something more convincingly like “yes, you’ve probably seen happier smiles on dead fish”.

Question for the happy lovey dovey couples out there: where did you guys meet? Don’t say a club. Or online. Or else you’ll just shatter my dreams. Again.

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