Something in Your Eye

Tomorrow morning, I will be getting laser eye surgery. Apparently, a surgeon takes a scalpel to my eye, cuts a flap out of my eye and then shoots a laser (insert *pew pew pew* sound effects here) into my eye until it burns out part of my cornea, folds the flap back down, and then like a Christmas miracle, my eye will be made whole and my vision restored. I can’t believe I’m paying money to go potentially blind here.

I interviewed for a job last month, and after hearing that the workplace was horrible, purposely messed up my second interview. A couple weeks later I receive a message on a dating website from an elderly caucasian gentleman, it went something like this:

“Sorry we couldn’t offer you the job, we were looking for someone more senior. But you’re really really hot ;)”

and it dawned unto me why all of the staff at this particular place consisted of hot young asian men aside from the partners in the company. Disaster averted! FYI, this was not a job interview for an asian exclusive gay porno company… please, no doubt, I would definitely score that job if I applied.

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