Ice Age

Thanks: For Remembrance Day, and all that should be remembered, and all that should be forgotten.

After multiple text messages, I succumbed to going on another outing (note, I’m not saying “date”) with the man who gnawed my lips off when I swooped in for a hug. Again, we had a pleasant evening of conversation, food and drinks. I explained to him in the most candid yet congenial way possible (again) that I’d like to take things slow. The words I said were “I like moving in a glacial pace”, and to make sure he got it, I said the word “glacial” until he repeated it after me. If he didn’t, I was going to load up a YouTube video of glaciers on my iPhone and have him watch it for the next 10 minutes so he could clearly see the lack of change in frozen icebergs.

Again, as I drove him home, I stopped in the alleyway of his home and we said our goodbyes. Again, he leaned in, and I wasn’t sure what to expect, yet I had stocked my car with everything from gum to mouthwash should expectations not align again. As he leaned in closer, he repeated “glacial” and moved in to meet my hug. He told me he realized I was busy and asked how often I have spare time. Once in a blue moon, I responded. That could have been the stupidest thing I’ve ever said on a pleasant date. “Oh, I’ll have time for you when it’s the next blue moon…” This time, as he left, I was sure he didn’t slam the door, but he walked slowly out into the night. Am I afraid of commitment? Or am I afraid of a relationship? I wonder what has gotten in to me…

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