Gay men disappear at this age. They appear in their late teens or early 20’s as romantic bright-eyed virgins, yet emerge into jaded recluses as they approach their 30’s. Dear fellow, single, eligible gay men, let us pool our collective wealth and buy apartments next to one another. We’ll cook together, shop, do other gay non-sexual things together, and create a little paradise villa of (mostly) non-bitchy single gay men that have all failed to sustain a positive loving relationship, which in turn resulted in our community of calloused and bitter gay defects. The idea seriously sounded much better in my mind.
I think I’ve accepted this “single” thing. It seems so futile to resist. I attended a speed dating event (a straight one, as an observer) to see the men herded into a room of painted women all vying for the best catch. It was clear; the women were all worried about their biological clock, while the men were all just itching at the cock. We’re all so worried, desperate, lonely and afraid to be all of the above, that we do anything to satiate the unnamed hunger inside of us. Sex? Money? Love? And the more fear we feed to it, the more worried, desperate and lonely we become. The realization is difficult, but it is the truth. We’re all lonely, but being lonely is much better than being lonely alone.